At very odd times, I just tear up. No reason. Sometimes I even bawl like a baby.
I feel overwhelmed when the well is dry, electricity is off and we are completely isolated.
I struggle when my daughters are crying and want me to hold them, but I have to send them to class because I must teach.
When the police stop my husband and demand money, I am upset.
I am sensitive to each and every word spoken.
Money is a concern beyond measure (or lack of it)…raising rabbits is looking like a good option!
I feel as if I can’t catch up-not on housework, sleep, laundry, lesson plans, studying, etc.
Fatigue is real and debilitating.
I am told this is “normal”-a part of culture shock, a process most go through until they are adjusted…and it takes time.
However, all of this cannot shake what I believe. I cannot measure God’s love and character by circumstances. He is faithful, loving, good, holy, sovereign, and wise. He is more interested in what is happening in me than to me. He is faithful to finish the work He has begun. As He strips away all that I have ever known, and puts me in circumstances I think are impossible, He receives the glory. Instead of asking God, ”What are you trying to tell me in all of this?” I must ask myself, “How will I respond?”
Perhaps this is part of the adjustment, the process…adjusting my view, my attitude and my response. After all, 1 Peter 4:12,13,19 says: “Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner. So if you find life difficult because you're doing what God said, take it in stride. Trust him. He knows what he's doing, and he'll keep on doing it.” –The Message
